just jill...

trail blazer...

9 years later I still miss the poo out of her. I've been grumpy all week and didn't really clue in till it dawned on me, maybe it's because I'm pissed off that my mom's not around to wish a happy's mom's day to.

Of course, I'd much rather her be around for a lot more than just to wish her a happy day... like for instance; I'd rather her be around so we could go shopping together and end up in the dressing room laughing so hard at the way those pants fit her, that we're both forced to hold our crotches so we don't pee oursevles. I'd much rather her be around so we could dance together in the livingroom to the music of Abba and not have any other cares in the world but the songs on the record player. I'd much rather her be around so we could watch all the great reality t.v. shows together and then share our opinions about all of them for hours and hours, which I know we'd do because that's just how we were. And lastly, I'd much rather her be around so that when TL or my job or whatever it may be, make me so mad or sad that I need nothing but her shoulder to cry on, and she's there to let me.

You see it's more than just a day, more than a day to tell her how much you care. It's a lifetime, a lifetime of moments shared, time spent together loving each other, growing up together and having the most special of relationships anyone can ever have with anyone in the world. I had it and now I don't, and sometimes I'm just really pissed off about it.

Browsing old photos like these, helps. I miss you mom, and think about you every day. Thank you for being who you are and teaching me that life is meant to be a place to live, laugh and dance.




Mom Blazing a Trail in Malorjca, Spain... Circa: 1961

happy birthday baby...

Saturday was TL's birthday. He's officially on the other side of 40 now. Ha. Even though he'll never catch up with me, I can now call him old. Ha.

We decided to pretend we were on vacation and head down to La Jolla. Even though I lived in So. Cal for over 30 years, I'd never really been there before. Now that I've been there, I can say I understand what all the fuss is about. "Mama like..." I didn't get too many photos of the sights we saw, but just know that the little village, the cliffs, and the ocean views are all worth the mega mortgages those people pay. ...sigh...

All in all we had a very nice weekend... I love it when it's just sort of pack up and go! It was also a great time for me to make sure TL know how much I love him and appreciate all that he's done for me, especially the past few months. I love him and his big ole' goofy self. And the best part is, he loves me and my big ole' goofy self too. A match made in crazyland.

"Happy Birthday TL, I love you...!"
ps... but why you let me outta house with hair like that...?


The next day we "day tripped it" to Hodads...
Where we dined on "Wicked Killer Burgers, Dude..."




Don't ever doubt that we ate the whole thing...

we hang together...

That is the name of the company my mom and her friend, Sandy had back in the early 80's. They worked together side by side hanging wallpaper for all the up and comers of Orange County. I remember how much fun they had, going out and trying to build their business, then getting excited when they "landed" the cute little cottage down in Laguna Beach or the office building over in Newport. I think what they really liked most was that it was a creative outlet, and the fact that they got to make their own hours and wear shorts to work every day. I mean who wouldn't love that? Back in the day when wallpaper was popular, I think it was definitely a skill to have to be able to measure, cut and paste. In other words they were busy and sucessful. "We Hang Together..."

Those days are lone gone; wallpaper has come and gone, (and quite possibly back again...) my mom has passed on, and Sandy now lives in Hawaii. They were such good friends for a long time and I've tried hard to maintain contact with Sandy all these years since my mom passed. I know my mom would be pleased and it does make me smile. It just seems like when I get a nice card from her or an update on how she and her family are doing, it makes me feel closer to my mom. Sandy and her husband, Harry, like I said live in Hawaii now, but they also live near here in Dana Point. How lucky are they that they get to travel back and forth? They are retired and living the life for sure.

This past weekend, we spent a nice evening all together. TL and I went to their lovely home and got a "tour." We're talking GRAND. It's all nestled up on a hill surrounded by eucalyptus trees, with a 180 degree view of the Pacific ocean, gorgeous sleek asian decor and a Japanese garden that sits right in the middle of their U shaped house. I was in awe. And even though it occured to me that Sandy and Harry are pretty much everything we're not; clean, organized, well off, oh and not to mention cute tiny people, we really just had a fun night with plenty of laughs and giggles. We also enjoyed a wonderful evening out at the Salt Creek Grill where I enjoyed the King Salmon Steak stuffed with Crab and Scallops... (um, slurrrp....)

It meant the world to me to get to see them both, and spend time talking about the "old days," and getting caught up on the new. It was just a great night all around. Sandy and Harry are on their way back to Hawaii for a few months, but I look forward to seeing them again in the fall when they return.


"Thanks for a lovely evening guys...
I hope we can 'Hang Together' again real soon..!"

just another damn day at the beach...

"Wait, I actually live here...?"

This is pretty much what our weekends will be like from now until October...






"Don't be hate'n..."

a little foggy...

In the midst of my shock and awe last week... I failed to mention a couple things about AIdol... One: How I'm STILL annoyed that Kristy Cook is STILL on the show. Okay okay, so she can sing a little good, but my god people, not anywhere near as well as any one who is left. And she's definitely not better than Michael, who (for unknown reasons to myself and practically everyone else I've spoken to which is just about every person I've come in contact with in the past week, because I'm obsessed with the damn thing) was voted off by all of you lame ass people who DIDN'T vote for him. Whatever... And Two: I also forgot to mention my top performance of the week was by this boy...


"Jason, you're too cute and your voice is like mother's milk to my ears,
I could just suck on it all night long...
(ew, I guess that's kind of groce, but whatever, you get my drift)"

If Jason, Brooke or Carly get kicked off before any of the rest of them that are left, I'm done.

"I love you Jason... Call me!"

"just call me pap..."

My boyfriends back and I'm gonna love my summer...
Hey ya, my boyfriends BACK..!

Gotta love that he tries to convince us that his dog ATE the World Series ball... "Riiight..."

"I love you Jonathan... Call me!!"

timing is everything...

The Bad News: Because of my "little accident" I lost my job. Apparently, even though the position remained empty for 2 years prior to hiring me, they couldn't be without someone for 8 weeks. "Whavever.."

The Good News: I got a better job. This "little accident" got me a 5K raise, a shorter commute equaling 2.5 hours shaved off each work day AND my own office. I'm now working for a wonderful and respectable little charity and that just makes me smile!

Go figure...

overheard at my house last night...

Jill:

"WHAT...?
"NOOOO..."
"You've got to be kidding me...!"
"NO f'n WAY...!"
"WTF..?"
"You's people are crazy..."
"Unbeeeelievable..."
"I'm in total shock right now..."
"How on earth did America think that F'n Kristy Cook is a better singer than my boyfriend?"
"Uhhh... hello, people, he's supposed to win the whole thing!"
"Insane..."

TL:

"That's what he gets for wearing that gay ascott thingy"...

This is what complete and udder shock looks like.

I love you Michael... call me!

my name is jill, and i watch tv...

Well, I'm back. Let's see... We managed to keep our TV off. And honestly it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. I really didn't miss finding out who was the "Next NOT Big Giver," or who was the "Next Celebrity to get Booted for having 3 Left Feet," I really didn't mind not watching all the excess crap that I usually watch. We made time to cook together, we started a Gin Rummy tournament that will hopefully take us till we're 80 to finish, we went to the beach a few times, we even cleaned out a few closets. Things just got done. It feels so great. The main thing I think we accomplished is that we came together like a team and just communicated better. We were able to both speak and the other listen. And we managed to agree that planning a whole evening around what time this show or that show is on is not the way we both want to live. We didn't decide to throw our TV away, but we have decided to cut back, way back.

Now, I have to admit I did have one issue during the week and it was when I knew that American Idol was actually ON, like on Tuesday night at 8:00 pm. During that hour I seemed to be squirming in my seat a little more. I found myself being restless, very distracted and maybe even a little sweaty. Do you think there are meetings out there for people like me? This mostly stemmed from the knowledge that Dolly Parton was on as a guest. How did I not find this out before I made the commitment NOT to watch? What was I thinking? All I could think about during that hour was, is one of them singing my all time favorite Dolly song, and who might be butchering up her classics? This is knowledge I needed to know. But, I stuck true to the commitment with the exception that TL allowed me to TiVo it so I could watch at a later date. Sorry to those of you who are rooting for me to "just turn it off." But sometimes a girls just gotta watch.

The results are in and we already know who was let go, but just to stay true to my long-standing distaste of this girl... Kristy's still gotta go.


Don't you know she's still doing that weird knee thing under that dress...

I guess it doesn't matter much anymore as enough of them have to go to get to the top, so she'll eventually be gone as I know in my heart she won't be the last one standing. (I mean, the knee thing alone should be a reason to vote her out people!) I was pleasantly surprised when one of my favorites, Brooke did sing my all time favorite Dolly song, Jolene. I loved it. (Didn't understand why she was in the bottom 3 at all, but I think that was a curse of performing first.)

My top performance of the night was my favorite male... Yum.

Michael Johns... My pick for this year's winner!

breaking up is hard to do...

TL and I have decided to "break up."

No... not us, not with each other. We're breaking up with our Television. Just for one week. (to start...) This all began when I read how Andrea and her family had done it. She described so beautifully how it changed them, how it delightfully gave them an awakening. TL and I had been discussing it ourselves, in fact he's been actually trying to get us to do this for a long time... We realize it's definitely going to be harder for us than for most people. We watch a lot of TV. A lot. Way too much. And, after being cooped up in this house for the past few months, I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of the addiction. I want more.

Then this past Saturday night we went to church, and lo and behold the new series just beginning was right along these lines. It's no accident we showed up on that night. "What would you do if you only had 1 month to live?" There are all kinds of cliche answers, right...? Quit our jobs, travel, spend time with friends and family, eat all the junk food we want... But, if we want to get real serious about it and truly begin living a quality of life, we have to come up with better and more realistic things to do. And not watching TV is right on top of the list!

Our inspiration...
*Superhero's Media Diet...
*Pastor Doug's 1 Month to Live Series...

Our plan of action...
Determining what matters most...
Define values...
Determine plan of action to pursue these values...
Decide on what changes need to be made to acheive these values...
Depend on God's Power to live out these values...

So... over the rest of the weekend TL and I sat down and created some lists... It's a start! The TV is off. And, I am also going to limit my computer time as well. I do have some necessity type things that requires me to be on the computer, but I will be cutting down on all the non-sense lolly-gagging and self indulgent reading that I do on a daily basis, usually when I'm not watching TV. For now, I see time spent outdoors, time spent reading good books and just wholesome quality time spent with each other in our near future.

I'll report back on our success... stay tuned! (hee... irony!)